Not even a week after giving birth to my daughter in the fall of 2017, my husband and I agreed we wouldn’t have any more children.
We were sleep-deprived, I was uncomfortable and healing after a long labor and delivery, and I was hormonal. There was no way we would even consider going through this again.
But guess what? I’m due with our son in May 2020.
Totally planned, wanted, and expected. I don’t know when we changed our mindset on having another, but both my husband and I grew up with siblings, and I had a feeling that our family wasn’t complete with the three of us. Of course, our daughter is perfect, and we love her more than anything in the world. But wouldn’t one more be fun?! I hope so.
Of course, the journey to add another human to this world takes some time. Forty weeks, or 280 days, to be exact. My first pregnancy lasted just shy of the full 280 days. I sure hope number two is on the same plan because this has been a very different pregnancy.
For starters, in my first trimester, I suffered morning all-day sickness. Time of day didn’t matter, as it typically doesn’t for the 70% of women who experience this pregnancy symptom. During my first pregnancy, I got sick one time. Literally once, after I had breakfast. This pregnancy, the first few months were unpredictable in how I would feel on any given day. Thankfully, this symptom passed before hitting week 12, but the memory remains strong. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for women who suffer hyperemesis gravidarum. You have my utmost respect and admiration for powering through.
Since I had a rough start to my pregnancy, I found myself struggling to get excited about being pregnant, or even sharing the news. I had also started a new job at work a couple of weeks into my pregnancy, so the timing just felt off. With being sick, starting a new job, and approaching my daughter’s second birthday, my world felt chaotic and unbalanced. I wish I could say that as I get closer to my third trimester, I’ve regained control of the chaos, but that would be the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, some days, I struggle to find the desire to even leave the house.
To compound my struggle, I have had a hard time finding time for myself, more specifically, finding time and energy to be active. It was so easy to work out regularly during my first pregnancy when I could take a nap when I needed to recharge and not worry about a toddler being a toddler.
During my first pregnancy, I remember thinking that pregnancy wasn’t all that bad. I still don’t hate it, but I can now fully appreciate it when women say that every pregnancy is different. My doctor has continued to confirm that everything is fine, and all is on track. However, I also know that I need to keep myself in check, especially as I get further along. I need to take a break and let my husband take over on weekends if I need to rest. I need to step away from stressful work situations and accept that I can’t do it all, despite my best, yet unsuccessful efforts. I need to find the time and energy to be active to help with both my physical and mental well-being.
I can’t wait to add our son to our crew, but I also know this is just the beginning. Once our new arrival joins, we’ll be in the same boat as so many of you trying to make it work, one day at a time. I’m nervous and anxious, but mostly excited to see how different our son will be. If the differences between my pregnancies are any indication, we’re in for a wild ride!