Missed calls, texts, and smoke signals? Sorry, this mom has been busy surviving.
To all my family and friends,
I am sorry, so very sorry. I am writing this message to let you know that I am alive, not kicking, but surviving. Unfortunately, I missed your calls, texts, and smoke signals for the last 137 days, and I have not gotten back to any of you yet (clearly missing my two-and-a-half-day ritual for callbacks).
I have been quite busy, surviving. Follow along with me on a regular week.
You called me while I was homeschooling two of my three kids, each at a different grade level. Basically, I was keeping my voice steady and my eyes focused while explaining geometry concepts, of which I knew nothing until five minutes before the explanation (when I happened to google them on my broken phone and became an expert).
I received your text, but I had my hands full, cleaning the poo spread all over my living room while screaming, asking for someone to catch my toddler to prevent her from spreading the damage to other rooms in the house. No one stopped her. I am now looking for recommendations on professional carpet cleaning services.
This was the Pacer Test day for my middle school child. In case you (fortunately) do not have a clue about Pacer Tests in Physical Education classes, keep it that way. Anyway, I could not answer your call because I had just passed out while following along the exercise with my tween, and we were deciding if calling 911 would be the next step for me.
I saw your video call coming, but I had locked myself in the bathroom to cry myself a river while eating the Halloween candy leftovers I had strategically hidden. It is not easy to cry and devour candy at the same time, but during this pandemic quarantine, I am getting pretty efficient at doing both simultaneously.
I know, you were only asking for an emoji back to testify my well being. I was too busy running around the house, chasing my toddler, preventing her from interrupting my son’s zoom piano lesson, or my other daughter’s zoom ballet class, or even my husband’s board meeting video call. I know it can be sweet to spot a beautiful and precious toddler in the middle of a meeting, but she was naked and had her face, arms, and hair covered in tomato sauce. Would not recommend that graphic interruption.
The weekend, finally. I made it through those savage week days and I decided it was time for that me-time, time to be pampered and try something new. I took a shower, dressed up and did my hair. I was feeling capable of talking to other grown ups again. I made it. I went, all by myself…. for some groceries at Trader Joe’s (you wild thing, girl!!!). You called me exactly when the cashier was asking me how my day was going, and if I had any special plans for the rest of the weekend. Sorry I hung up on you, but it felt so good to be listened to and cared about again, I could not ruin that moment.
It was the perfect moment to get back to all of you, I was finally going to get all those callbacks back on track! But then I realized it was 2 AM.
And that my phone was floating in the sink.
And I fell asleep.
I want you all to know that I care about you. That I see you. That I miss you. But mothering amid a pandemic quarantine is not a walk in the park, it is a real thing. It is tough, scary, challenging, busy and overwhelming. Our patience and creativity are both tested to the limit ALL THE TIME.
I am sorry for my absence, I am busy being present, busy surviving.
Another mother doing her best to thrive, just like you.