On Snow Days & Seasons of Motherhood

More so than ever before, I have found myself longing for snow this winter. I want the kind of snow that lays a thick blanket of white, leaving streets and front lawns indistinguishable from each other. The sort of snow that causes a slowing of life as streets are closed, and schools are canceled, and workers are told to stay home. The sort of snow that shimmers and sparkles and invites stillness and a collective hush.

I guess, realistically, in this season of having three young children, the collective hush wouldn’t be very quiet. There would be squeals and giggles, and begging for help to find mittens and snow pants and scarves. There would be requests to go sledding and to come see their snowmen, and tears for when their hands get too cold or the snowball is thrown too hard. There would be requests for hot chocolate, extra marshmallows, space by the fireplace, and an extra blanket or two. And this would repeat again and again and again …

The snow days of my thirties look so very different than the snow days of my twenties.

More noise, more needs to meet, more giggles, and more snow gear than I could have ever imagined. Fewer moments of sitting and watching the snow fall and being amazed by how quickly the life of a city can be stilled.

This gap, between the snow day I imagine, and the snow day that will be available to me amidst this season of mothering, feels helpful to acknowledge. It will be a while before a snow day ushers in a quiet home and unexpected hours to spend however I desire.

I think that longing is legitimate and not something to feel bad for or selfish about. In fact, paying attention to this longing helps me realize ways to care for myself and prioritize scheduling in the next few weeks.

Recognizing this gap also allows me to reset my expectations. If such a day falls upon us, it will not be a quiet one. There will be chaos. Acknowledging this is allowing me to embrace it. I want to enjoy a magical day with my kids. As the Mom, I have an opportunity to cultivate some of the magic! I don’t want to wish that away or miss it as I long for a season of the past.

With some potential snow on the horizon in St Louis (YAY), I have been brainstorming about what will help me enjoy a snow day with my kids.

I always enjoy baking for my kids, and often I enjoy baking with them. As a little girl, every Christmas my Mom would make a batch of cookies that her Mom made her when she was a little girl; she called them “snowballs”. Each year, I plan to make them at Christmastime, but then Christmas comes, and it seems like sweets are everywhere, and snow is nowhere, and it doesn’t feel right. This year, I am going to try to make a batch of snowball cookies for our first big snow day. It seems like such a sweet way to modify and carry on a family tradition. Carrying on the tradition and making the time to bake sounds fun to me, and I’m hoping the surprise will add to some magic for my kids as I surprise them with something new.

A few other things I have recognized that will help me enjoy a snow day with my kids are:

• Knowing everyone has the gear they need to be warm and dry as they play.
• Having a basket of books about snow or winter ready, so we can snuggle up and read during outdoor play breaks.
• Having supplies for a winter craft ready in case a longer break inside is needed and we’re feeling crafty.

This sounds fun to me, and I think my kids will enjoy it, too. None of these ideas feel earth-shattering, but there is something about making this list that helps me envision and prepare for a day with my kids that sounds fun, meaningful, and realistic.

It would be so easy – to wake up excited for a snow day – and go to sleep disappointed because what I was hoping for was a quiet, restful day – and what I got was a day of parenting my children amidst snow and hot chocolate. Giving myself permission to acknowledge my actual desire, let go of unrealistic expectations, and imagine and plan for a snow day that honors my real family and our real need and desires have felt so helpful. It has helped move me to a place of wanting to savor this season of motherhood and be a part of creating magical memories with my kids.

So … now … here’s hoping for SNOW!

Here are some questions to consider if you need help re-envisioning a snow day with your kids, too:

• What sounds fun to me on a snow day?
• What would usher in feelings of playfulness for me with my children?
• What could I prepare in advance that would help me connect with and enjoy my kiddos?
• What will each of my children want to do?
• What might my children or I be hoping for that is unrealistic?
• Are there “snow day traditions or rhythms” to initiate, continue, or stop?
• What snow gear or supplies or groceries could be helpful to have on hand?