Did you know that people are still doing that mom-shaming thing? Just the other day my dear, sweet, friend Jessica Simpson was blasted on Instagram for one of her mom choices. No, it wasn’t because she shared a post about her breastfeeding success, or because of the swimsuit she let her daughter wear, or even because she let her son swim with a waterproof cast and do a backflip. It was evidently something far worse, something that made my dear, sweet, friend, P!nk, rush to her defense.
And what was the mom-offense? She dyed her 7 year old daughter’s hair. (Insert horrified/judgy gasp here.) She dyed the ends pink and purple, in the spirit of her favorite Descendants character. What. A. Monster. Right?
When Jessica posted the picture, many of her 4.8 million followers supported the new look. However, others blasted her for “ruining” her daughter’s hair. They she was more beautiful with her “natural golden locks” and called it “sad.”
I’m pretty sure it’s this shaming behavior that’s sad. So friend and fellow mama P!nk called it out AND dyed her own 8 year old daughter’s hair. Now I’d like to join the movement.
As the mother of two girls who have had their hair colored on and off for a year, I can definitely say letting them do it has been one of my better parenting decisions.
I had reservations, for sure. They were 6 and 7 when they first asked me if they could dye their hair. Heck no, I said. Ear piercing was as far as I was willing to go in terms of changing their appearance. They were certainly too young to alter their hair color, right? I needed to protect their innocence and make the hard decisions for them. How would they be treated if they had pink or blue hair? How would I be judged?
Nevertheless, they persisted, and eventually I gave the topic some thought. Would it really ruin them or their hair? Did I actually care if other moms thought I was weird? What was so wrong with coloring their hair? As it turns out, nothing, as far as I can see.
Will it ruin their hair?
Short answer, no. From spray ons to permanent dyes, as long as I’m not bleaching it out every week, their hair will be just fine. And with as fast as my girls’ hair grows, the colored and bleached parts are gone within six months to a year.
Will I be judged as a bad parent?
Probably. But we get judged for so many things as parents that this is just another drop in the bucket. But it’s also not about us. This is actually about letting our kids have a little fun, make some wild choices that aren’t dangerous, and feel a little funky or mermaid-y or cool. At least we’ll have the company of Jessica Simpson and P!nk if we do get judged for this. I can think of worse friends.
Will my child regret it? Or will I?
Nope. In fact, having colored hair made my girls feel empowered. They had a choice in how to present themselves and that choice was honored by an adult. They felt courageous. They had something that made them feel unique and fun and reflected their individual personalities. My oldest chose bold purple tips and my youngest had unicorn streaks of turquoise and hot pink. And they have loved every minute of it.
So do I support letting your child play around with some hair color choices? Absolutely. Try some hair chalk, spray on color, or go all in with some semi-permanent dye. Do it at home or go to a salon. Maybe letting kids make these choices and try on some individuality now will help with the bigger, harder choices ahead.
And hopefully mamas, when the haters come for us, we can take a cue from dear, sweet, friend P!nk and turn the comment feature off.
P.S. I am not actually friends with Jessica Simpson or P!ink, but I feel like we really could be besties given the chance.