Being Mama Bear: Fighting For Your Family and Yourself


The mama bear thing is kinda annoying.  I get it, you are a strong woman and you’re just like the mother bear protecting her cub.  When I was pregnant, I would see these shirts and laugh at how silly it was.  I am a woman, not a bear.  But now I’m legit just like a mother bear.  I will straight up attack you if you so much as sneeze towards my child.  Ok, ok, maybe not.  Though, I could.  I probably won’t though.  I might just quietly seethe.  I’ll probably talk about it with my husband or I’ll talk about it during my therapy session. 

I’ve realized just how much I am not willing to put up with now that I’m a mother.  I don’t put up with much from anyone.  Well, at least in my mind I think I don’t.  Though, I am definitely a people pleaser. I want to be liked, to be included, and feel like I am a part of something.  I’ve been that way my whole life.  So unfortunately, that means I am saying yes often and not always getting reciprocation from others in return.  I am still this way to a point.  Now I’m trying to say “no thank you” a lot more.  I politely turn down that extra family engagement because it’s just too much for me and my child. Heck, it’s too much for my husband many days (before I’d just drag him along). 

There are times I ask for advice, but I’ve started asking a lot less because I’m learning on my own. I’m also learning that if you put an idea out there, there is always someone who might have a rebuttal.  I also research a lot of things before I do almost anything when it concerns my kiddo.  So, I’m decently prepared.  No, it was not the way you might have done it.  Yes, you think XYZ is ridiculous. But, why do you get to decide or tell me what’s best?  Just like I don’t decide that for you or your life choices.  I do think many times people give advice because they want to encourage you.  Unfortunately, in my experience it can come across as a judge, as people not respecting your boundaries, or maybe they enjoy the power of thinking they know more than you.  Of course that thought is negative.  It could all really be for your good.  Maybe. 

What I’m really trying to say is, I’m in process.  I’m in the process of learning about myself as a mother, a wife, a person.  It’s so hard to know who and what you are in general and then add in a little person or a few.  Motherhood is so hard.  Life is so hard.  Marriage is so hard.  I’m in the process of being that “mama bear” for my family.  Wait, let’s toss the mama bear idea.  What if we weren’t mama bears and we all just supported each other so no one person had to Hulk out as a mama bear?  What if we encouraged moms, friends, and girlfriends in their journey?  Instead of judging or offering your opinion to others which could make them feel they need to protect themselves, idea, or their child, let them know you support them!  We are all trying to figure it out, one day at a time.