Because Now I Have Kids


I never wanted Botox,

I didn’t understand why some women’s bellies were so soft where their jeans hit,

And going to bed before 10 felt sacrilegious.


My weight never got the better of me (for long),

My husband played plenty of video games,

And we always found time for a weekly date night and drinks.


I judged too harshly the moms before me,

My ignorance glaringly obvious to them,

Yet I was so certain I was right even though they’d say I was aloof.


I thought I knew what my priorities were

And how much of my teaching experience would come in handy at home:

I didn’t know my old purpose would remain while new sparks ignited.


But now I have kids and sounds ring differently. The stakes are higher and the payout greater, but the journey to the peak is a labyrinth. Eighteen months as a momma of two has taught me I know so much and yet so very little, and in my inexperience I relish that I still get to figure it out and don’t have many regrets…yet.

I still get to wonder what it’s like to carry the burden of deep shame on your back while your kids hurt. I want to honor the moms – every single one of them – who have witnessed their children struggle and done their best to let them learn from it without intervening.


I know I know nothing, but my eyes are so wide.

Because now I have kids.