Every year during my birth month of June, I start to think about how I’ve grown in the last year. This year, I decided to think specifically about the ways I’ve evolved since becoming a mom. Of course, there is more to a woman than being a mom. We are so much more than the roles we play. However, it has been my most transformative role to date. I’m not sure that I would rise to the occasion of life in the same way without my son here.
I’m sure you can relate to the ever-present mirror that is motherhood. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself since becoming a mom.
I can do it all, but I don’t have to.
The old me would much rather do things myself and accomplish all the tasks on my to-do list without fail. I would skip out on sleep to make sure I was managing everything perfectly— well, at least “perfectly” in my book. But what I’ve learned since having my son is that it is no longer realistic to think that I can get everything done when I want and how I want.
Better yet, it’s also no longer important to me to get everything done. I can kick my feet up instead of doing the dishes every now and then. And sometimes watching my son chase bubbles around the family room is worth all the joy that cleaning the bathrooms could never bring. Don’t get me wrong, I still take care of my responsibilities, but I give myself grace when I need to. It was certainly a process, but once I released myself from my get-it-all-done mentality, life became less stressful, and I became more present.
Once I released myself from my get-it-all-done mentality, life became less stressful, and I became more present.
I don’t care about the things I used to.
Before joining the motherhood tribe, I naturally had more time to focus on my career and even myself. Once I became pregnant, my mindset started to shift towards thinking about how to spend more time with my family and make time for what matters most. I know this doesn’t apply to everyone, but some of the things I was involved in no longer appealed to me after having my son. I was much less focused on achievement and more committed to being a better person in general. The idea of building a strong legacy became top priority. Everything outside of that took a backseat, and I wasn’t upset about it, either.
I found my voice again.
Different seasons of life can cause us to feel like we’re just doing what we need to get by. Most of the time, we may not even realize that we are just going through the motions it just happens. But having my son sparked a realization in me that when I spoke, I spoke for my son too. When I set boundaries around my time and rest, I was teaching him how to do the same. Children don’t really care about what we say if it isn’t reflected in our actions. I move through life with such a level of intention that I am, in turn, finding my own voice while being a voice for my son.
These are just a few of the ways that I have evolved since becoming a mom. I come across so many conversations about the sacrifice of motherhood, and there is indeed space for those moments. The demanding role of raising children is not to be overlooked. However, it is a nice diversion to stop and reflect on what we have gained as a result of stepping into this complex role. Any time you begin to feel less than the mom you hoped you would be, make a list of all the ways you’re showing up. You’ll be glad you did. I know I am.
