With the end of the year chaos on its way, thinking about self-care can just add to the overwhelm. It has become so cliché that it is almost ignored. Let’s be honest, do you ever really prioritize your self-care? When I talk with families at work about self-care I get the polite “thank you” or a very direct eye roll.
It is time we start thinking differently about taking care of ourselves. After all, if we are not well, can we really expect to care for others well? And what are we modeling for our children? We, as humans, deserve it. But as parents, employees, friends, and family, we need it. And if the thought of adding one more thing to your plate makes you throw up in your mouth a bit, here are some tips to actually make it happen:
1. Self-care, contrary to some automatic thoughts, is not necessarily a spa day or a vacation. Yes, those things are lovely and can certainly rejuvenate! But they are usually impractical and few and far between. Self-care should be thought of as the moments between stressors. Yes, I said moments.
2. Start with the basics: good sleep, healthy foods, taking your medication, and going to appointments. If that already feels overwhelming, consider better sleep than before, healthier foods than yesterday, and starting by scheduling just one appointment for your wellness (e.g., get a check-up with your doctor).
3. Think about self-care as medicine. Just as you dose your medicine, dose your self-care. Instead of taking the whole bottle at once, take small spoonfuls throughout the day. Find a few minutes (start with 2 minutes if that is all you can find) spaced out throughout the day to do something small. Deep breaths, mindfulness, stretching, going into a quiet room, watching funny videos, coloring, journaling, reading, etc. Whatever feels good to you.
- Start here. Make a list of what feels good to you that can be done in 2-minute increments. (YES, YOU! Go get that post-it or notebook). Put that list on your mirror, fridge, or in your bag where you’ll see it regularly. Make the list as long as you can so you have options.
- Make sure you have what you need to follow through with your ideas. If you like to journal, have it out with a pen so you don’t spend your few minutes looking around instead of writing. (Go ahead, I’ll wait.)
- Consider when you can find a couple of minutes. Be thoughtful and take your time. None of us really have time for extras so being creative is important! Maybe your few minutes is when your child is brushing teeth and getting dressed in the morning. Maybe it is during your lunch break. Maybe it is in the parking lot before you run into school. Or maybe you shave off a few minutes from the mindless scrolling you do at night. Two minutes might not make a difference on the alarm clock, but it could make a difference in your well-being.
- Go easy on yourself. Start slow and build up. Maybe you increase your time to 5 or 10 minutes for each dose. Or you might choose to dose more frequently, finding mini-breaks 5 times per day. Shoot for frequency when you are able to get one dose consistently as more frequent shorter breaks can be more helpful than fewer, longer breaks. Once you get rolling, you’ll find those minutes! And sometimes the day gets away from you, and that is okay too.
4. Don’t get too fancy! Deep breaths help us to relax our brains into more clear thinking and slow our heart rate. Mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts in the moment. Stretching can liven your body and help you feel more connected to what you are feeling physically. Going into a quiet room can help calm the senses when overwhelmed. These things are so valuable!!
5. So, are you ready for some tough love now? Here it is – you have to make change to see change. If you want to start feeling better or being more patient, you have to work at it. You can handle a few minutes at a time, so this is a great place to start! But challenge yourself to increase the time or frequency of these breaks.
6. In the comments, consider putting a few of your ideas for your self-care dose. Ask a friend to hold you accountable. Bring this idea to your book club. Let’s normalize our self-care medicine 😊
Excellent piece. I find meditation really helpful. It is simple, you can do it just about anywhere and it is free. You can do it in short intervals and it truly helps you reset
I’ve started deep breathing while I drive. Slow, long breaths in and slow, even longer breaths out. I heard that breathing this way tells your body that it can calm down, aka reminds it that our 21st-century stressors no longer require the nervous system response of being chased by a bear like our ancestors.
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