A Letter to My Second Born


First-time moms learn a whole new world exists once they have a baby. But there is something about a second born child that instills grace and peace in a mama’s heart.



Dear Second Baby,


While you didn’t make me a mom, I give you credit for making me a better mom. 


Now that’s no slight on your brother. I wasn’t slacking off with him. It’s not that I hated motherhood with him. I didn’t. I loved being his mom. I still do! We were a happy little family of three before you, but there’s just something about you and how you came into this world. In you, I have found a stronger me. I am more confident as your mom, and that’s a gift from your big bro. With you, I learned to cherish the small moments. 


Time is no friend to the mama bear, and with you, I see that in real-time. I look at your brother with his full sentences and wants and thoughts and remember that he was once just as small as you, and it makes me sad. As a first time mom, you don’t realize how fleeting time is or how fast your babies grow. You just seem to always be looking toward the future and wondering when it will get “easier.” But with you, I don’t need Timehop to remind me that you were once little because that’s right now, and I get it. I know that you’ll grow just as fast as your brother did, and so I don’t wish our time away. 


Your brother gave you the gift of going first because now I know.


My second babe, in you, I have learned to lean into motherhood. Some days I’m just a mom, and that’s okay. I can’t always save the world. Sometimes saving the world looks like getting you and your brother off to daycare with hugs and kisses and good wishes. 


My sweet second babe, I hope you never doubt how much I love you or the amazingness you brought to this family. In a year of so much darkness, you brought joy. You taught me that a mother’s heart is the most amazing muscle there is. When they say your heart just grows with each kid, in you I learned how true that is. You didn’t take love away from your big brother, nor does he take love from you. My heart just fits you both so neatly, and my love is so fierce that it often takes even me by surprise.


Little love, in coming into my life, you also healed my motherless heart in ways I hope you’ll never need to know. I wish your angel grandma could see you and your brother because in a lot of ways you remind me of me and my own brother growing up. I get excited thinking about the memories you’ll make together and the love you’ll share.


Dear second baby, you didn’t make me a mom, but you did complete our family. 


Love you always and forever,